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Gazza from sales adds ‘Prompt Engineer’ to his CV

August 3, 2023

  • REAL STORIES SHARED BY OUR READERS

* Names have been changed

Gazza* from sales has smugly added ‘Prompt Engineer’ to his already heavily embellished CV, and begun to seek endorsements from LinkedIn connections as a ‘proposal guru’ following his completion of an online course on ChatGPT.  

Gazza, who has always been one to seize an opportunity, was quick to capitalise on his newfound skills in AI to voraciously churn out capability statements to the company’s top prospects in a single day.

According to our informant, Gazza was overheard boasting to colleagues that he didn’t know why proposal writing was considered so hard.

When contacted, Gazza was unashamedly confident in his abilities but said while he was keen to share all of his secrets to becoming a sales machine, he was currently unable to elaborate on the specifics since there were some legal and HR complications ”that need some sorting out”.  Gazza believes this to mean he will probably smash his quota for the quarter and the company’s just ironing out the unprecedented remuneration details.

“What I can say, is that I took one capability statement and asked the artificial intelligence tool to rewrite it for our technology support division, then our engineering consultancy division and I got on a roll and created new documents across all 25 divisons in the company,” he divulged.

“It was eye-opening. The AI really loves using the word ‘revolutionising’ and in using it I discovered we are innovating virtually every aspect of our industry – from reinventing IT support to the point where computers are afraid to malfunction because we put the fear of tech support into them, to creating new laws of physics to explain our groundbreaking engineering.”

”Unbeknownst to me,  our professional services advisory is so ahead of the curve, our clients are benefiting before they even ask for advice.”

To prove his efficiency, Gazza said he fired off his documents to prospects “like canon balls on steroids” to show his colleagues just how mindblowingly awesome he is.

“I saved 7 hours of my day and am literally perfecting the art of synchronised office chair spinning right now.”

Not content with just mastering the basics, Gazza shared that he also invested in a pack of 100 ChatGPT prompts, ready for any possible scenario. He anticpates that his new sales arsenal will make him an even more formidable presence at the next sales meeting.

Meanwhile, Gazza has been spotted in the office sporting a new t-shirt with the slogan, “I turned AI into my Alibi”.

When asked where he thinks his new skills and unofficial job title will land him Gazza declared with a smirk and a wink, “I’m not just working smarter, I’m hardly working. It’s not formalised in writing yet, but I’ve heard some whispers that company bosses are especially supportive of me not working at all”.

 

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